Peer Comments and My Respond to My Annotation 1

Lisa:thank you guys~

i want to say something at first: i forgot to write my critical analysis

but the first annotation you can see it for support my argument.

Susie:what are thosse key words?? why list them out@@?

Pearl:these keywords are the source of points?

Lisa:because i read MY's syllabus about the annotation she says you will note down keywords in sentences so i did that but i think i will delete them on my revised annotation

Pearl:i think you should to take out the proof that the bullying is more serious than before

Lisa:sorry i don't understand what you're saying

Pearl:because some says bully has existed for a long time but we ignore it before.

Lisa:can you point out which part i write about what you're saying?

Julia:show us the ''number'' or "rate" to prove it

Pearl:because you mean as the media influence, bullying in school is more serious

Lisa:to J: you mean the part i summarize the televised violence should be provided with statistics?

Pearl:is it your meaning?

Julia:yes, to make it more convinced

or u can just put it into ur revised paper

Lisa:to P:no, the writer of the source just focus on the media violence, and it does not mean the media is the reason of increasing school bully but just one of the factors

to J: Ok, i will do this on my revised annotation, thanks

Susie:Maybe u could talk about this phenomenon in Taiwan?? we will feel more related to it

Pearl:ohoh~because i read you issue paper at the same time

Lisa:to S:ya i will relate it to Taiwan on my revised annotation. Because i forgot to write my critical analysis, i want to link the source to it in my critical analysis.

Pearl:ok when you finish your critical analysis
you can inform us and we will give you another advise

Lisa:to P: i will read my issue paper again and i think my view is that media violence is one of the factors inciting school bully

Pearl:oh i see

Lisa:to S: ok! Thanks

does anyone else still have other problems or comment on my annotation?

Julia:i think u should take out some clear evidence to prove that they are really related

Eventually or it would be only your opinion

Lisa:i'll summarize the writer's statistics on my revised annotation

Julia:u know there are a lot of factors can influence kids

Lisa:ya but i just focus on the media violence as my issue paper

Julia:yes